Dating With A Baby

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Tis the season of love and romance! Bring on the flowers, the chocolates, the heart shaped EVERYTHING, and all the mushy-gushiness. Valentine’s Day has always been, and forever will be, one of my favorite holidays. I know many people think it is a dumb, made-up holiday for large corporations to take our money and run (which, may be true!), but even though I know all these things, I still LOVE it!

What’s wrong with having a reason to celebrate?! I am a lover of life and enjoy all its simple pleasures, and if there’s a reason to celebrate something-no matter how big or how small-I’m going to celebrate it..and, most likely make it big!

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I don’t see anything wrong with taking advantage of the given holiday to show our Valentine just how much we love them. That being said, I do think it’s extremely important to express our love to each other everyday-especially now with a child that tends to take the focus off of each other and on to her. So, how exactly do we keep the romance alive with a little one??…Oh, I was waiting for an answer, because the truth is..we are still figuring it out!

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Instead of coming home from work and having the whole evening to ourselves to talk, have a quiet dinner with adult conversation, pour a glass of wine, possibly take a bath and turn on some adult music, spend some time alone, and then fall asleep to watching our favorite shows together, we now rush to get the food on the table without burning our inquisitive child that wants to check out the stove and the oven, have a crazy dinner full of “force-feeding” our child that wants nothing to do with what’s on her plate, quickly clean up the mess, while she goes on to destroy the living room with toys, then quickly clean up more messes, get her in the bath, changed, read and sang to, and into bed by 8pm, so we can get ready for bed and have a moment to ourselves!! Where’s the romance??…

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The reality is, it’s just not going to happen. At least, not in the way it used to during this season of life. The problem is, at the end of the day, when you’re done mommy-ing, daddy-ing, wifey-ing, hubby-ing, working, etc. you are just tired. No, EXHAUSTED. So, climbing in to bed, turning on the TV and zoning out is just easy. No one needs you, nothing has to get done, it’s just you and your comfy bed, your delicious chocolate, and mindless TV.

But, we learned the hard way after months of that being our routine, we felt empty. What happened to us? Who is the man I fall asleep next to every night? What’s going on with him? How does he feel about me? Does he still love me as much as he used to? Does he love Charlotte more than me? Do I love Charlotte more than him?..These were real thoughts, real emotions, and real issues I knew we had to figure out before life continued to get busier and we continued to drift apart.

We both agreed we needed to make our relationship a priority. This means making sure we have good conversations when we finally get in bed together, making sure we have quality one-on-one time before we turn on the TV, and making sure we have once-a-week date nights. Communication in any relationship is key, and if we continue to go on everyday without talking to one another-I mean real talk, not just about Charlotte-then we quickly feel like we are completely disconnected. Now, instead of practically falling in to bed and reaching for the remote, he grabs me and playfully throws me on the bed, and reaches for a kiss. 🙂

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I think dating is the other key ingredient. In the midst of baby craziness for the past 18 months, we completely forgot to date. I mean actually get ready, go out, and do something just the 2 of us. I was completely guilty of not wanting to give up my child for nights alone with my husband. I hated leaving her, and I had a hard time “letting go.” But, I can honestly say after the first night out, I realized I can do this, this is actually extremely necessary for us and our sanity, and I really enjoyed myself.

Now, are there nights we were are so tired that TV time is pretty much all that happens-YES. I’m not going to pretend like we have it all figured out, because every day is different, people get sick, people have a bad day, Charlotte fights going to sleep–that’s REAL LIFE. But, because we have changed the way we view each other and our relationship, the minute we realize it’s been a few nights without “us”, we fix it. My husband is too important for me to not give him the attention he deserves. I love that man way too freaking much. 🙂

Here’s a few looks from our most recent date night out to an incredible dinner at Bonefish and Fannie May to pick up some chocolate truffles! Fashion pieces linked below!

FYI, this is not my typical going out look-but, when it’s date night.. 😉

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Find my wine colored lace-up cropped sweater here.

Find my light wash destructed skinny jeans here.

 

 

 

 

 

From my heart to yours,

Janalyn

 

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